Dear Life,
You are the thorn in my side, the ache in my neck, the pain in my @$$! Somedays I loathe you.
When you get out of high school the first question people ask is what you plan on going to school for...what do you plan on doing for the rest of your life. A daunting question, to be honest, no one can truly answer. Life throws you curve balls and tests your determination and dashes your hopes at every corner. But those who continue to preserve and push through for the dream they clung to in the dark days of final exams come out stronger and more rounded individuals whether it be in their "dream" career or their actual passion.
Since I graduated from high school 3 years ago I have been struggling to come up with an answer to that question myself. My post secondary journey started with a stint in Engineering, I prided myself on being a math and physics nerd in high school (two of my favourite subjects, possibly because they were taught by my two favourite teachers!) so this career path seemed like the perfect direction to head in. However, after a year of struggling to keep up after the easy no study necessary time in high school I felt defeated. I realized I did not want to continue on this depressing University career any longer, gave up and failed out. The one thing that first year taught me was your mental health is much more important than any education you'll ever receive. You have to remember to take time to be with family and friends and focus on the things that make you happy, because a life focused all on education is not healthy at all. Another thing that year taught me was the importance of time management. TV, Facebook, Pinterest and other sites are not your friends, self control is the only way to avoid those....unless you have a MAC then you can download and app that locks you out of those site for a designated time period that can't be altered once set!
Resilience....After failing out of Engineering I took my mandatory year off before being able to apply back for school, which I had to take a year of general arts to bump up my Grade Point Average (GPA) and be able to get into a degree program. I felt like maybe I would enjoy nursing...so off I went taking nursing courses and a few electives to get a feel for my future career path. Microbiology proved to be the right kind of challenging and interesting I was looking for, as gross as it sounds, disease are very neat to study! After an amazing year of self discovery (as lame as that sounds) and hard work to boost my GPA over double I applied for nursing.
Four Months Later....I still haven't received word about my application status besides being considered so I decide to take action and call the admissions office and inquire about it. The worst idea ever, a part of me was relieved to finally know and be able to assess and plan the next step in my life but the other part of my was crushed. Once again I had been rejected from something, a feeling so foreign I had no idea how to process. I am sure this is a common feeling people have of wanting to be accepted and given choices, but it truly crushed a part of me to find out "I wasn't good enough", "I wasn't smart enough" or all those other degrading thoughts that run through your head. Truth be told I was above the entrance average but with the mass volume of applications I wasn't competitive enough.
ACTION...I had my moment of sadness and completed melted down. But there is a time for feeling sorry for yourself and a time to take action. I choose to get up from my ice cream coma and start planning the next step in my life. Just working and moving out with my perfect little pup C was a very tempting option, but call me stubborn, not getting the option to take nursing was like a thorn in my side. A constant reminder of something I couldn't do (I hate being told what I can't do), so I reapplied for a different University for the following semester and am waiting to hear the news. Fingers crossed I get to make my own decisions in life. The goal till I find out...soul searching. Trying to figure out if this career is one I am meant to pursue or if these road blocks are a "gentle" push not to.
-S<3
